Roberto Clemente Jr. shares stories of profound loss on Children's Grief Awareness Day
Robert Clemente Jr. remembers entering Three Rivers Stadium when he was 7, and spotting posters with a picture of his father.
He walked directly toward one of the images behind the backstop of the Pittsburgh Pirates’ former home field on Pittsburgh’s North Shore.
“I missed him so much that when I saw the posters plastered around the backstop, I had to walk over and give him a kiss,” said Clemente Jr., the keynote speaker through an initiative of the Highmark Caring Place for Children’s Grief Awareness Day on Thursday. “I did not know that there was a photographer that captured that moment.”
The feeling he gets when he looks at that 1973 photograph remains to this day, he told TribLive. It’s a moment of grief, of missing his father, Pirates Hall of Famer Roberto Clemente, who died in a plane crash on New Year’s Eve in 1972 while taking earthquake relief supplies to Nicaragua.
A universal loss
The iconic moment has been memorialized in a painting on canvas by artist Cody Sabol for one of Clemente Jr.’s birthdays.
“That photo is from the day they retired his number (21),” said Clemente Jr., who was emotional looking at the image on his wall on Tuesday. The loss of his dad was even harder because it was a universal loss, said Clemente Jr., who will talk more about that through the Caring Place project. This year’s theme is “Champions of Hope.”
Children’s Grief Awareness Day is observed on the third Thursday in November.
Clemente Jr. joins a lineup of impactful voices, including dancer, teacher and choreographer Gianna Martello, Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Isaac Mattson, children’s author Maryah Greene and West Virginia University Mountaineers wide receiver Rodney Gallagher.
Hear their stories streaming throughout Thursday on the Highmark Caring Place YouTube channel.
“I had this feeling of guilt that I did not do enough to stop him from getting on that plane,” Clemente Jr. said. “And every day of my life, I’ve been consoling people, that I have no idea who they are, about the loss of my dad. It’s been every single day of my life since New Year’s Day of 1973.”
Clemente Jr. said he didn’t know his father was flying that night. Roberto Sr. made the decision that evening while his son was sleeping.
“It was his destiny that he was supposed to leave that way,” Clemente Jr. said. “That’s one thing that I have gotten to understand as an adult, that there was no other way for him to leave earth without doing what he did for so many years, which was helping people. This was his passion.”
Continuing his father’s legacy
Understanding that passion is part of his message for this campaign, he said, because “that’s what’s going to drive you forward and get you out of any type of darkness.”
He said initially he didn’t cry when he found out his father had died. It wasn’t until 2004 that he had a spiritual moment and his own closure of not doing enough to stop his dad from getting on a plane.
He talked to his father in his heart and asked what he could do.
The answer was to finish his father’s trip to Nicaragua. Clemente Jr. was planning to fly there when the tsunami hit Southeast Asia. The items he had planned to take to Nicaragua, he took to Southeast Asia.
And then he went to Nicaragua on New Year’s Eve 2005.
More than five decades later, he said he walks out his door and hears questions about the loss of his father.
“Being able to talk about my dad helps my heart a lot,” he said. “Because what I have been telling a lot of people is the fact that you need to understand that in this situation, once you open that line of communication, you’re not alone. And to have a place like the Highmark Caring Place, a place where everyone is going through the same emotions and having all these heartfelt conversations, that is going to make you feel better — I wish I had that growing up. I wish I had a place I could go where people would understand that other people are going through the same thing, even though my situation is completely different because of who my father was.”
“His willingness to open up about his own journey with grief, particularly regarding his iconic father, will resonate with countless children and families who are navigating their own losses,” Terese LaVallee, vice president and executive director of the Highmark Caring Place, said in a statement. “His message of resilience and advocacy embodies the spirit of our mission at the Highmark Caring Place.”
A visionary
A father of six and grandfather of eight, Clemente Jr. said his father had a feeling he would die young and he often talked with his wife Vera, about things she should know if he wasn’t around.
“He was a visionary,” said his son. “My dad was ahead of his time. He was the first player to actually ask for deferred payments on his salary. He was his own agent.”
Clemente Jr. is working on a book to share more thoughts and experiences. One of the toughest parts after the accident was that people he loved disappeared, he said. He watched his mother do everything she could to keep the family together.
“Even though she was still devastated, she was in denial,” he said. “She was actually living in denial for many, many years, because his body was never recovered. In her mind, he was going to be able to walk through the door one day. She left everything in his closet for about 30 years because she believed maybe he would come back.”
Clemente Jr. said people remember where they were on that day his father died and often share that with him.
“It shows the impact he had on the world,” he said. “When they won the World Series in 1971, he spoke in Spanish for the first time on a broadcast network. He wanted to say something in Spanish to his parents in Puerto Rico. That moment galvanized the Hispanic population because he was speaking to them. That was definitely cool.”
Clemente Jr. said he is thankful to the Highmark Caring Place.
“So many people are going through this and we are not alone,” he said. “We want to make sure that this network continues to expand and make sure that they know that there’s a safe place by communicating and just raising your hand and saying, ‘I need some help.’ We all have those feelings of loss.’”
Clemente Jr. said he draws strength from his wife, Kailee. She is the one who invited Sabol to paint the image of Clemente kissing his father’s photo.
“There was a canvas in the middle of the living room,” Clemente Jr. said. “I had no idea what’s going on and in five minutes (Sabol) paints the image and when I realized what it was, I was like, Are you kidding me? How did he do this? This is an amazing memory. My father was an angel who just happened to play baseball.”
Details: childgriefday.com
JoAnne Klimovich Harrop is a TribLive reporter covering the region's diverse culinary scene and unique homes. She writes features about interesting people. The Edward R. Murrow award-winning journalist began her career as a sports reporter. She has been with the Trib for 26 years and is the author of "A Daughter's Promise." She can be reached at jharrop@triblive.com.
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