The Pittsburgh Pirates’ re-signing of former star outfielder Andrew McCutchen is … nice.

Looking for a hotter take than that? I don’t think there is one to be had.

If McCutchen wants a career victory lap in the city where it all started, that’s nice.

If the organization is willing to pay him $5 million to do it when I’m sure they could find someone inferior to fill that roster spot for less, that’s nice.

If the fans are excited about the signing when they have so little else to be excited about, that’s nice.

When you’re a Major League Baseball franchise operating in the vacuum of coming off a 62-win season — when no one is really expecting much more than 67-70 the next year — “nice” is good enough.

The threshold of what it takes to make Pirates fans happy these days is very low. Reconnecting them with McCutchen as a role player in the December of his career actually meets that low standard.

When you can’t sell the present and you can only posture about how great the future is going to be (if it never gets here), then why not sell the past?

That’s what this is all about.

Every time McCutchen comes up to hit, every game during AT&T SportsNet broadcasts, throughout the stadium on game days, and endlessly on sports radio throughout Pittsburgh, you’ll see and hear replays of McCutchen’s great moments.

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As a result, we’ll all be instantly transported to 2013-15, when McCutchen led the Pirates to three straight playoff appearances. It was a 1,000-day oasis from three decades of baseball ineptitude in Pittsburgh.

Dwelling on Bill Mazeroski’s homer, “We Are Family,” and even the Killer B’s of the 1990s can only last for so long. The younger folks need a shot of nostalgia they can actually remember.

Interestingly, what has been kind of entertaining to soak in via sports radio and Twitter, though, is a tangible, mutual handshake between the fanbase and the organization. This move is so obviously a public relations ploy by the Pirates. However, it seems to be 100% knowingly lapped up by the fans.

It’s like a preemptive make-good if the team trades outfielder Bryan Reynolds — as many expect to be the case in the weeks or months to come. I mean, we can’t accuse the Pirates of trying to pull the wool over the eyes of the fan base when no one is complaining about being blind.

While the Cutch move is totally transparent, I haven’t heard any fans griping about the motives they plainly see. They are just excited to bust out their No. 22 jerseys when they know the guy whose name is on the back will actually be wearing one on the field again.

And from McCutchen’s point of view, he’s already warming up for the love fest that’s about to come.

— Andrew McCutchen (@TheCUTCH22) January 13, 2023

Who knows? After a .237 average and 21.4% strikeout percentage, at 36, maybe the thought of being adored 82 nights a year and being at home full-time (he still has his family’s home in the North Hills) is worth it for $5 million compared to whatever other offers he may have received.

But, sure. McCutchen will bask in the “prodigal son returns” angle as much as he can, and the Pirates front office will hard sell it as much as it can.

Why not? Everyone wins.

Well, except the team. They’ll probably lose at least 90 games again this year. After all, no one is presenting this signing as a truly impactful “baseball decision,” are they?

Granted, McCutchen at least helps in the sense that he is going to be better than anyone else they would’ve bothered to squeeze into their budget as a right-handed hitting outfielder/designated hitter for maybe 450-500 at-bats this season. His 17 homers would’ve tied Oneil Cruz and trailed only Reynolds and Jack Suwinski for the team lead.

But McCutchen is a shadow of his MVP days. This move was initiated for off-field reasons. That’s fine because the Pirates need help there as well. So, I’m on board. Just not to the extent that some callers were expressing on sports talk radio, with some saying they welled up with tears while driving and had to pull over to the side of the road.

Look, I live on the North Side. I drive by PNC Park every day. I’m often moved to tears thinking about the Pirates. But for totally different reasons.

I’m sure there are others who feel like me. If this move of bringing back McCutchen mitigates that sadness for a little while and it’s not money that would’ve been spent elsewhere (and it wouldn’t have), so be it.

All things considered, McCutchen returning is just … nice.

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