Tim Benz: Fans should have seat at NFL's collective bargaining table

When it comes to NFL coverage, I‘m usually one of the last guys to write a weepy column that sobs, “But what about the fans!?”

Actually, make that the last guy.

The absolute last person to do so.

You’re a football fan. Not a child in an orphanage, an abandoned pet or a political prisoner.

Follow the games. Root for a team.

Or don’t. Whatever.

Either way, you don’t need an advocacy group just because you own a Terrible Towel, a Dawg Pound mask or a cheese head.

But I’m going to go off-brand today and do a little advocating for those of us who are NFL fans.

When it comes to coverage of the NFL collective bargaining agreement talks, I’m stunned at the amount of media and fan feedback on talk shows, in columns, and in Twitter posts that seem to be siding with the players versus the owners.

For that matter, I’m equally baffled at how many people are backing the owners against the players.

As fans, why should we be rooting for either side to “win” at the collective bargaining table?

Either way, we lose.

Have we forgotten that?

Sure. It’d be nice to see the players soak some extra money out of the pockets of the stinkin’ rich owners.

But whatever concessions management makes to the NFLPA, do you really think they’ll take a loss after the negotiations end?

Of course not. We’ll make up the difference from our bank accounts.

In ticket prices. Food and beverage costs. Merchandise sales. Parking.

The owners will get more out of the television networks. We’ll pay more for the coverage via streaming costs, cable fees and satellite packages.

I laugh when I see fans pound the imaginary Twitter-CBA table decrying the quality of health care coverage for the players.

Of course, it’s insufficient. But I’m sorry. I’m a little more concerned about the state of my own health care costs at this point.

Aren’t you?

And nobody in the NFLPA is funding your colonoscopy by buying an officially licensed (and revenue-shared) “Joe from Blawnox” number “00” black-and-gold jersey.

Conversely, I’m equally amused by fans who rip the players for asking for more “for playing a kid’s game.”

I mean, what do you think is going to happen if the owners hold on to a bigger chunk of the pie than expected? It’s not like they’ll find a way to give back to the players in another capacity out of the kindness of their hearts.

Or roll back all those costs I listed above to ease the burden on the fans and voluntarily trim their profits.

I can’t even read that thought without laughing out loud.

The bottom line on this whole CBA hullabaloo is that both owners and players are going to make out pretty well.

However, I don’t care at all which side walks away from the table happier. Both sides are greedy.

I wish the fans could be greedy, too.

If I got to be at the table as the “fans’ union rep,” here’s what I’d demand.

• I’d ask for a shorter preseason. Two games at the absolute maximum.

• I don’t want a longer regular season. Seventeen weeks of time investment from me is enough. Let alone training camp, the draft, free agency and the preseason. I don’t need the NFL season to run right into March Madness. I can handle the break.

Plus, this league has one of the few regular seasons that actually still has meaning attached to it. Don’t water down qualifying for the postseason as an accomplishment by dragging out the regular season to a ridiculous length. And don’t expose star players to an extra week of injury before the playoffs begin.

• We don’t need international games. Early morning kicks in London are stupid. And fans don’t deserve to lose home games because the NFL wants to shove games into Mexico.

• Also, ditch flex-scheduling and Thursday night games, too.

• I don’t necessarily care how the money is divided up. I just want a salary-cap structure that keeps competitive balance in place and makes it easier for my favorite team to retain my favorite players at a fair cost to the player, without all the contractual acrimony we have seen in recent years.

• Most importantly, I don’t want the expense of all this thrown on me as a burden when it comes to ticket prices, concessions and viewer fees on television.

That would be my “fan advocacy” message at the collective bargaining table.

Maybe you don’t like some of my suggestions. Maybe you think I’m missing some key points.

Know this, though, I’d at least be a voice for you. And I wish NFL fans had someone more qualified than me lobbying on our behalf in that room.

Because we should make out better on this deal than we did on the last one.