U mad, bro?: April anger from Pirates fans is already boiling over

We are way beyond April Fools’ Day. But there are plenty of fools in Pittsburgh Pirates management. They seem to be proving that on a daily basis.

Obtuse quotes from the owner. One public relations fumble after another. And the construction of an offense utterly incapable of extending a rally.

It’s awfully early for this much Bucco bluster. But that’s what happens when people are still actually paying attention before the team falls out of contention.

So here’s “U mad, bro?” for this week.

Let’s start with some Pirates fan angst. There is plenty of it. We begin with Brett.

Here's a question: How long until Bob Nutting asks the city for a new ballpark? Because we're coming up on 30 years and Three Rivers lasted 30 years before switching. Teams like the Braves and Rangers ditched their old parks after 20 years for new ones.

— Brett (@penguins8766) April 3, 2025

I don’t think so, Brett. Nutting knows that PNC Park is one thing people like about this team. He won’t ask for a new building.

Major upgrades to this stadium though? For sure. I hear some new bricks might be in order.

“Spicoli_75” disagrees with my support of the Eagles’ attempt to keep the “Tush Push” play legal.

Grok agrees with closet Eagles fan @TimBenzPGH on the tush push: #NFLOwnersMeeting #CryEaglesCry #TushPush pic.twitter.com/sCR9ePGfdy

— Spicoli - Tech Workers Against H1Bs. (@spicoli_75) April 3, 2025

What do you mean by #CryEaglesCry?” It seems to me it’s the rest of the NFL that’s doing the crying.

Steve is not a fan of Alex Ovechkin setting the NHL goal-scoring record. He agrees with Mark Madden’s stance that Ovechkin may have the most goals statistically, but he’s not the greatest goal-scorer.

”For me, he will go down as the player who scored the most goals. That’s it. Greatest goal scorer? Not by a mile. I’d have to put him far, far down the list behind even great scorers like Bure, Lindros, Forsberg, Hossa and Selanne. He’d probably wind up in the 30s on the list and that would be kind and only because I never watched players from the 60’s and 70’s.

Greatest PP Goal Scorer From the Left Dot. Sure thing. Hang the banner in all the arenas.

Giving Ovechikn the Greatest Goal Scorer of All Time title would be like hiring Joey Chestnut to judge a Michelin-sanctioned cooking competition.

I didn’t even care to see his record-setting goal. Why would I? I can just watch 800 of his others for an exact recreation, and we’ve all seen enough of those to not even need to.”

If you are going to make an argument against Ovechkin, you might want to start with Mario Lemieux and Mike Bossy. Peter Forsberg didn’t even reach 250 goals. Ovechkin has more goals (895) than Forsberg has points (885). Eric Lindros is more than 500 off the pace. The last 10 years of Marian Hossa’s career, he exceeded 30 goals one time.

If we are going to qualify where Ovi’s goals came from, do we disallow any that Gordie Howe just banged in from the top of the blue paint or that Brett Hull scored from the circle as well?

I think your anti-Ovechkin (anti-Caps?) bias is showing. Although I did like the Joey Chestnut line.

Never forget when Joey Chestnut choked out a protester then proceeded to scarf down a hotdog AMERICA ????????????pic.twitter.com/6XrC1ftAlz

— YBGChris???? (@YBGChriss) July 4, 2023

Rick sent me an email with the subject heading “How to motivate Pirates to play better.”

“Here’s how: WITHHOLD PAY!”

Rick, Tony Clark from the MLB Players Association is on Line 1. He’d like to have a word.

Ray in Export was not happy with Bob Nutting’s statements to MLB.com on Friday, claiming that he’s done “everything that I can to provide the tools and resources to the team. There is a point where it becomes execution.”

”What a pathetically empty mouthful of platitudes from a miserly owner! Very disappointing that Nutting did not share a more urgent and compelling plan. Disgusting, actually. A beautiful park and city financial support totallywasted on these bumblers. I guess that tuning out until 2026 is a reasonable fan response if this is truly how the owner feels. I have gardening that needs tending. Tell me how it went in November.”

Ray, if you have true gardening skills, the Pirates might be able to use you. I hear they are considering replacing the “Pirates” plants in center field with shrubs that spell out “Surfside.”

Just realized they replaced the Clemente logo on the right field wall with a Surfside ad ???? pic.twitter.com/Hz8qUBy6Sp

— Pittsburgh Clothing Co. (@PGHClothingCo) April 5, 2025

Finally, my colleague at WDVE, Bill Crawford, posted this image to X on Wednesday night.

Shelty writing apology letters to the Bucco Brick families pic.twitter.com/RjyFiWeUvF

— Bill Crawford (@dveBillCrawford) April 9, 2025

I dunno, Bill. I actually think that’s a wish list to Santa Claus, asking for a first baseman, a closer, and someone better than Jack Suwinski to bat leadoff.

Then again, you might be right. If he is waiting until Christmas for those things, he might be better served just asking for a new job.

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