U mad, bro? Raging Reds fans, puking Pirates fans, Le'Veon Bell defenders

There is a disturbing lack of “Phil DePhense Phoundation” emails in “U mad, bro?” this week. Don’t they know “the media is trying to run Phil out of town” again?

But their absence has been filled by angry Pirates fans, raging Reds fans and NFL fans who want to call out the league’s preseason baloney.

Thomas must live in Cincinnati. Or, at least, is a Reds fan living here. He emailed me a few times last week because I took some shots at Derek Dietrich showboating after his home runs versus the Pirates.

“Too bad Dietrich OWNS Pittsburgh pitching and you’re simply sour puss!! Suck it up!! Who’s Your Daddy? $250 bucks says you won’t win the Central. Signed Bob Moose. “

Thomas included a photo of $250 in cash on the passenger seat of his car.

He then followed up with another email.

“Kent Tekulve is the best-looking Pittsburgh resident ever. That tells you all you need to know about PA.”

Thomas, I’m glad you have $250 in cash on you. Is that the first time you’ve ever held that much in your hand? You seem inordinately proud of it.

As far as betting it on the Pirates, are you kidding? Am I nuts? When is the last time anyone bet $250 on the Pirates to do anything?

I’ll ask though, since you are pretty bold in emails, why don’t you take that $250 and bet it on the Reds to win the NL Central? After all, you seem so confident.

Oh, and regarding Tekulve, sweet burn, dude.

He may live in Pittsburgh. But do you wanna take a wild guess where he was born?

Cincinnati!

Ding! Ding! Ding! I’ll take the “Irony Daily Double” for … hmmm … $250, Alex!

“Comey D. Clown” wasn’t a fan of my post about Le’Veon Bell fawning all over Sam Darnold’s mobility in New York.

In his defense what’s he supposed to say, his new QB doesn’t make a pimple on his old QBs A55? LVB gives enough fodder to criticize him about, this isn’t worthy. Jus sayin

— Comey D. Clown (@IzzyMandlebaum) June 5, 2019

Remember, as I wrote in the story, Bell “is pumping up his new quarterback. I get it.”

Secondly, to be clear, are you saying my criticism of Bell is hyperbole for his hyperbolic praise of Darnold?

Do I have that right?

Let’s not overthink this. I was simply pointing out that Bell was going a bit overboard by insisting that Darnold’s alleged mobility — which yielded fewer yards per carry than Ben Roethlisberger — will “make him a better player.”

It was a bit much. That’s all.

I couldn’t resist posting this video from the Pirates AT&T SportsNet broadcast Tuesday night.

This kid has it all wrong. You are supposed to wet burp all over yourself in the parking lot BEFORE the game! pic.twitter.com/hK1MysYQAw

— Tim Benz (@TimBenzPGH) June 5, 2019

Then this guy couldn’t resist using the video to take a dig at the Pirates after they blew a 5-2 lead and ended up losing, 12-5.

Or in the 7th inning like the pirates just did.

— Thomas ??️ (@tbsone) June 5, 2019

He was right to do that.

And so was the baby. I start throwing up all over myself whenever Clint Hurdle goes to his bullpen these days, too.

Robert loves caps, exclamation points, and question marks. And he seems to hate the Pirates right now.

“Am I the ONLY one who thinks the pitching philosophy of the Pirates is a DISASTER????!!!!!

HOW else can you explain the number of Home Runs surrendered??????????

Do the Pirates have the WORST Player Development Program in Major League baseball?????!!!!!!!”

I’ll answer these questions in order.

• NO!!!!

• I CAN’T!!!!

• MAYBE!!!! I CAN’T THINK OF ANYONE WORSE RIGHT AT THE MOMENT!!!! CAN YOU????

Anthony wasn’t as emphatic, but pointed nonetheless.

“Because of the way pre-season is handled now with starters, we are watching preseason quality football in Week 1 of the regular season for sure and quite possibly Week 2 as well.

From a season ticket holder’s stand point, we pay top dollar for garbage.

The owners love it. Tickets sold, and money invested for at least four months before a preseason game is played.

The least the owners can do is make some of the preseason count and pay everyone like a regular season game.”

ANTHONY!!! YOU MAKE A LOT OF GREAT POINTS IN YOUR EM …

Oops. Sorry. Caps lock was still on from the last guy.

Anyway, yeah. Good email. I agree.

I’d still prefer that eventuality over seeing star players getting hurt in preseason games. And, as a fan, if I have to endure low-quality football in September, I’d rather it be meaningful in the standings.

Do I want an 18-game regular season schedule? No.

Would I take it if it’s that over two preseason games? Yes.

But the best answer is to just trim the preseason and still play 16 games. Create the revenue elsewhere or just admit there is no more revenue to be gained.