U mad, bro?: Aliens have arrived — and they have angry opinions on Steelers, Pirates

Even the Pittsburgh Steelers reporting to training camp was dwarfed by the UFO hearings in front of Congress on Wednesday.

Not only do I now believe in aliens, I believe they are coming for Christian Kuntz’s massage chair.

The Steelers’ specialists massage chair saga continues, but it’s in the dorm thanks to some teamwork by Christian Kuntz and Pressley Harvin.

Now just to get it to the third floor pic.twitter.com/XpcI0sSHx3

— Brooke Pryor (@bepryor) July 26, 2023

Seeing as how the roof has been blown off of their existence, I have to assume the alien attack is being plotted and that we will all be annihilated before next Thursday.

So enjoy what is likely our final edition of “U mad, bro?”

Skip seems to have taken umbrage with something in Wednesday’s “First Call.”

Mr Negative

— skip (@Skip1288) July 26, 2023

Skip, I have no idea what you think was negative in that post. I didn’t make an opinionated stance one way or another on any of those news items we collected.

But I do feel the need to point out that your avatar is a screenshot of Derek Shelton’s career winning percentage. So, I’m not sure you’re the right person to pass judgment on anybody for being too negative.

Mark emails with a mystery complaint too. But it seems to be related to this week’s “Madden Monday” podcast.

“Obviously you and Madden never watch or listen to Gregg Cosell! He evaluates all NFL QBs weekly. He said Pickett will be the future for the Steelers. He pointed out that KP makes all the reads (Trubisky looks at one receiver), is very accurate, and knows when to run. Greg Cosell has forgotten more football than you and Madden will ever know!”

Maybe Cosell has forgotten more football than I’ll ever know, Mark. But apparently you have forgotten when Cosell said this about Pickett.

“(There are) things he needs to work on, and you saw this in college as well, and I think it continued in the league,” Cosell said. “I think there are times he leaves the pocket too early. I think there are times he perceives pressure that’s not there and he abandons the play. And I think that he has to learn to stay there, let it happen.”

So, if even the renowned and infallible Cosell suggests Pickett has some things to work on, I suppose it’s probably true, huh?

Also, when did I ever say I preferred Mitch Trubisky to Pickett?

More sports

• Tim Benz: A crucial challenge for the Steelers defense — help make the offense better
• After Ubering to camp, Steelers rookie Broderick Jones will try to ride solo at left tackle
• Steelers’ Najee Harris wants more security for RBs, understands that’s not likely

It’s been rough for the Pirates lately. One good thing was their recent decision to draft Paul Skenes. Even I say that, despite originally backing Dylan Crews as the top choice.

But this guy is cynical.

Somewhere, a Pirates fan is already rationaling the trade return they will get in July 2029.

— xoundmind (@xoundmind) July 21, 2023

Actually, come to think of it, that’s not cynical at all. It’s almost optimistic. I have Skenes being traded sometime in 2028.

Speaking of Skenes, this reader didn’t like that his coach, Jay Johnson, used the phrase “1,000%” when I asked him about the chances of Skenes being able to win a Major League game this year.

We need to go back to a system where the top score in a sports cliche is 100%

— Potu$ Capper (@POTUSCapper) July 21, 2023

Unless we are talking about the likelihood that the Pirates will figure out a way to screw up Skenes. Then it’s definitely “1,000%.”

Jonathan emailed about my response to Pro Football Talk’s Mike Florio ranking Mike Tomlin ahead of New England’s Bill Belichick and in second place among active coaches — behind only Kansas City’s Andy Reid.

“In games where they did not have their Hall of Fame QBs, who has the better record? I.e. who can do more with less? Tomlin wins that comparison hands-down.

I’d like to see more success in the postseason as well. I’d argue that if you rank head coaches based on their floor — the worst you can expect — then Tomlin probably does belong in the top two. But we’re generally a lot more interested in their ceiling than their floor, and that’s where he falls down the rankings quite a bit.

Anyway, just thought you might enjoy the rationalization of how Tomlin is better than Belichick.”

Hmmmmm, Jonathan, not so fast.

Belichick won a playoff game with Vinny Testaverde in Cleveland in 1994. He won 11 games with Matt Cassel in 2008 when Brady was injured. He went to the playoffs with Mac Jones.

Still think Tomlin wins that comp “hands down”?

Finally, our friend Scootie is back! This should be good.

“I’ve read a bunch of your garbage writing for years now and only because Triblive.com is free. Your opinion is usually that everything is ‘going south’ and i think its because its your ‘safe place’. Your ‘shock jock’ style evokes emotion and would only work in a town with a perennial loser like the home of the pittsburgh pirates; so you have job security.

Scootie out”

Well, Scootie, if that is your real name …

Steelers: Currently in their longest stretch without a playoff win since the “Immaculate Reception.”

Pirates: Haven’t won a division title since 1992 or full playoff series since 1979. Four winning seasons since 1992.

Penguins: No playoff series wins since 2018. Just had their first miss of a postseason since 2006.

I ask you, what isn’t “going south”?

Is that “shock jock”? Or is that telling the truth?

Benz out.